How to Get Past a Parent Who Yelled and Criticized You

From One Generation to the Next

Know that Digital Communication Arts is always available to you. Some of us who became artists did so not only because of the joy of being creative but also as a way to shut out a parent who is continually criticizing us. The artistic expression can be a way to hold at arm’s length those who act out on us. Although difficult to recognize this as a kid, the parent is the one who is spreading dysfunctional traditions and is the one who needs to get a grip. You can bet that the mother or father who is putting down the child experienced something along those lines while young also.

Make a Commitment

But that is not how it is supposed to be. A human being who is a part of “the quest” should always be seeking to do better in their generation toward their child than the parent did to them. Let’s say you are the offspring of someone who has a negative parent, as difficult as it is to do, you need to learn to see who the parent is and make a commitment to doing better.

Your Art

Forgiveness is a term that is used a lot in some circles. Where forgiveness comes into play is the very healthy process of recognizing that your critical parent is a wounded child themselves. Sadly, some may never change and can go to their grave without transforming their ways.  But your job is not done even if they pass. If you become a parent yourself your goal should be to treat that child as you would want to be treated, with love, kindness and understanding. And your art can reflect what you have learned and can maybe even help others who experience it also. Thank God for Digital Communication Arts, also known as DigiComaArts.

DigiComArts Plays a Role in Today’s Issues

No Crossover

Although a lot of people use DIgiComArts to copy cartoons and make graphics, it has played a role in the COVED-19 saga as well as the Protesters/Vandals/Thieves misunderstanding. There’s nothing like a good visual image to set things straight. Most agree that the peaceful protestors had nothing to do with the vandals/thieves. Apparently there is no crossover.

Decimated by Thugs

And yet the double feature show keeps on truckin’ together. It seems that during the day there are those who are within the law standing up for important communication issues, then at night the bad people come in to tear up small businesses and entrepreneurs who were already holding on just by a thread anyway. Honorable businesses that were truly serving their communities decimated by thugs.

Art Helps with Healing

And as this all unfolds the DigiComArts artists document it in interpretive ways.

How to Deal with Haters

This is an attempt on our part to create an OVERVIEW of how to deal with haters, especially online. The concept came about through a discussion we had with the creators of NYC Create.

If you are a creative person or an artisticpreneur, this can often mean you are someone who puts yourself “out there.” Often, if you are creative, you will have the desire to share what you are doing creatively. Unfortunately, once you introduce your creation to the public, especially if it is online, you will face the wrath of haters.

The key way of dealing with haters we believe is through having compassion for them. Those who create usually don’t have the inclination to attack someone and often want to help people. So it is hard sometimes for a creative to face her or his haters. Who are these haters? Why are they attacking you?

Frequently that hating – although directed at you – does not have to do with you but rather with the hater’s state of mind. So when you come across someone who is a hater, don’t look at them with animosity. A hater, especially one who remains anonymous, is a trouble person and deserves your empathy. Honestly feel sorry for them. It doesn’t mean you are taking a position of being better than the hater and taking a position of looking down at her or him. Coming from a place of empathy means recognizing that the hater is lashing out due to pain that she or he has inside.

For example, if you have someone who is hating you in the comments section of your blog or video, you can respond by asking them where they are coming from? Just imagine how much rage they must have bottled up inside of them that leads to them hating. In short if you are a hater, you are not coming from a good point of view.

You might start by asking:

“Hey, what’s wrong? How can I help you? What’s the real problem?”

Clearly this doesn’t always work and sometimes it’s better to just ignore the hate. But remember, haters are broken people who use hate as an ineffective way to deal with their internal problems.

When you first have a hater hating you might initially be offended,  hurt or angry but remember that this person is crying out for help like a baby that is acting out. Ask yourself if you can go to them with some compassion.

Typically haters are misunderstood people. If you use compassion there is the possibility of turning this rage-aholic into a loyal follower. But again, sometimes it’s best to ignore. You really have to use your intuition as to what is the best path for you to take.

Lawrence Lawrence You’re Ugly

Story by Jasmine Grant
Illustration by James Hull

I came to this school with high hopes. I was looking forward to a new beginning. My mother stopped babying me and I felt myself growing into a young man. My legs grew a little longer, My feet got a lot bigger, and my voice had become “Barry White like”, at least that’s what my father told me. I figured if the ladies liked it then I won’t mind it at all. The ladies didn’t like me and neither did the fellas, so never mind my voice.

When I spoke everyone turned around and stared. I could feel their eyes on my back making my neck catch fire like they had heat vision. After a while I stopped participating. It caused me anxiety. It wasn’t the thought of I might be wrong about this answer. It was my peers. They looked at me with so much disdain that they didn’t have to open up their mouths to tell me about myself.

When one of them decided to speak to me he said “ Hey lets play hang-man”. Before we could start 2 other students joined us. We were laughing and telling jokes. I smiled that morning. The girl who had joined called my name. She called it twice. “Lawrence, Lawrence”. I turned around, I smiled, and I said yeah, what’s up? “ Your ugly”. I stared into her eyes, confused. Just a moment ago we were cool. We were laughing and telling jokes.

I replied “Okay”.

What else was I supposed to say? What else was I supposed to do? I should just kill myself. I should get hit by a bus or jump in front of a train. I couldn’t get those thoughts out of my head. I couldn’t focus.

“ I’m sorry” she said smiley and giggly like she wasn’t really sorry for calling me ugly but sorry that she did it in front of others instead of revealing my atrocities to me  in a more private setting like maybe pulling me into the staircase and whispering to me those exact words “ your ugly”  would have made it better.

The bell rang. Everyone left their seats except for me. Well I got up, went to the door, opened it and walked into a crowd of students moving left and right rapidly.

My body was alive and well. I could walk, I could hear the sound a hundred voices, I could see the EXIT that lead to the lunchroom, and I could feel the wind of a hundred students passing me by. I couldn’t feel my soul.  I dug deep inside myself but there was nothing there to hold on to.

I walked through the hallways until I found the classroom with the hangman on the board.

I glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was 11:45. Lunch was about to end soon. I brought my eyes down slowly to look out the window. I seen my face in the reflection. There’s nothing wrong with it I thought but then I seen my hair. It was braided into corn rows. They look like doo-doo braids I thought. And my eyebrows were so bushy. I should get them waxed, well waxing is only for girls right?? My bottom lip poked out just a tiny little bit. It looked kind of weird from the side.

Maybe I am unattractive but I’m not but I don’t Know.

I rested my eyes on the desk and the boy was gone. There was a feeling of regret, doubt, and unhappiness growing inside of me. A seed had been planted and a cloud came over me. I wanted the rain to wash the pain away. Instead it drowned me in it.

Who’s The Real Bully by Luke Grant

by Luke Grant

The process of creating my animatic basically came from an idea based on events that happen to real victims of bullying , which I researched and had previously experienced in my life.

-First up was the planing of the story, I took about an hour and a half to write out the story in a dialogue form which was told from the perspective of an narrator.

-Secondly after getting the idea down I sketched out the scenes in acrylic blue pencil on comic paper.
being careful and checking, so I did not to stray from the story I moved on to the next step.

-Third I became to ink my sketches with pigment liner. After I started to cleaning away the acrylic with a eraser as best I could.

– Fourth was the scanning process, which gave me some degree of trouble due to the papers size. So to get them scanned I arid multiple scans of each corner of the comic paper till I could get all the single images at least once.

– Fifth came the liberation of each scene (panel) from the comic paper, using Photoshop.

– Sixth came the clean up of the individual scenes (panels) and placement of each on a black back drop. This took a few days (averaging other projects and home work).

-Seventh was the coloring in Photoshop which to days just to get everything to a point of which I thought was good enough.( Ima perfectionist so this took two weeks).

– Eighth next was the of the images into windows movie maker, which I had to rearrange and place them in order in which the story is told.

– Ninth came the input of the typed and edited text before each panel.

– Tenth the spacing and timing part of each image and text. (All this while taking into consideration the viewers reading speed, this took many periods of alteration).

– Lastly was the creation of the instrumental, which took me a few days to find a music mixing program I was comfortable with and that could work on my vista. After searching for a few days when I had time I found mixcaft; and within an hour and a half I created the instrumental “OurMinds ” which was named because of the lesson of “of who’s the real bully”.  Then what was left was the input of the instrumental to  the windows movie maker project. Once I did that I decided to add a sound effect of a revolver to really drive the point home. (Emotion wise). After some last timing and spacing edits the project was complete, and all I had to do was export as a playable video file which was just a few simple clicks.

DigiComArts Workshop Antibullying Video




This video is of a staged reading for a piece called “Bullying”. The participants are still holding their scripts while they act because this is a work in progress. The script was written and directed by Thandiwe McMillen.

Here is what Thandiwe had to say about the creative process of doing the work:

While writing this piece, my first thoughts were that I had to make my audience aware of the harsh reality of bullying. This part was somewhat tricky due to the fact that I couldn’t stress enough how bullying doesn’t only hurt physically, but emotionally as well.

The next part was a lot more difficult for me. All over the world, different types of kids and even adults are being bullied. However, the focus was on the youth. Numerous teenagers are being bullied because they may be some of the following: gay, lesbian, fat, skinny, “too” smart, short, “ugly”, or they have a seemingly bizarre feature, quality, or medical condition. I had to have all of this in mind as I wrote.I didn’t want to confuse my audience into thinking that only a certain type of person is bullied.

Ultimately, I settled on the type of mean girl, jock guy, bullying. This doesn’t mean that other teens aren’t being bullied; they just have a different case.

It was very interesting to see my work finally put into action. I carefully selected my cast, giving people I thought best fitted, the roles. It was pretty exhilarating to direct the performance; telling my cast what they were doing right and wrong. The script enabled us to permit the audience to comprehend bullying.

I hope that “Bullying” will have an effect on the audience and compel them to put their foot down and do something about it. I still cannot stress the aftermath of bullying, which does not always end in a happily-ever-after.

The “Bullying” cast members:

James Hull

Gabriella Monahan

Luis Colas

Thandiwe McMillen

Luke Grant

Sean Mac Queen


Mariano Perez

Here is the script…

BULLYING   by: Thandiwe McMillan

Kelly, Brittany, and Megan enter the teen section of the library.

Kelly: Oh my  gosh did you see what Rachel was wearing today? Hideous. Like, even my grandma has more fashion sense.

Brittany: So true. I’m so glad I’m not her. I would have to kill myself.

Megan:  Hmmm and she’s ugly to top it all off. (sighs).Anyway, let’s get on with this project. I can’t believe we’re actually in the library. It reeks of loser.

Kelly: Ugh, Ms. P is such a cow.

Brittany: Tots.

The girls walk over to the back table where Stephanie is sitting surrounded by books and engrossed in a novel.

Kelly: Whatchya reading ugly? (Swats book out of Stephanie’s hand). You are nothing and I am something. Repeat it.

Stephanie: (mumbles) You are nothing and I am something.

Kelly: Excuse me? Who do you think you’re talking to!!

Stephanie: Um, I meant I am nothing, you are something.

Megan:  (holds Stephanie’s hair and whispers in her ear) Louder.

Stephanie: I am nothing.

Brittany: (snickers) She’s pathetic.

The girls move to the other part of the library whispering and giggling. Their voices are now inaudible as we go on to the next scene.—Marcus enters the library and takes a seat next to Stephanie.

Marcus: Well the good news is I found the book we were looking for (smiling). What’s wrong? (smile fades).

Stephanie: Nothing. That’s great (forced smile).

Rick, Bobby, and Vincent enter the library. They strode in to the back.

Rick: Believe me, I know what you’re talking about.

Vincent: (hits Marcus by the side of the head). Hey what’s up loser? (pushes Marcus’s bag off the table). Oops. (high fives Bobby)

Rick: What a douche?

Vincent:  Haha. Probably runs in the family.

Bobby: C’mon guys, stop it, let’s just join the girls (looks uncomfortable).

Rick: Alright. Stop being a little girl.

Bobby: (defensively) I’m not. It’s just…not right. You guys tormenting them I mean.

Vincent: Whatever (shakes head).

The guys now join the girls. Their voices are now barely audible in the background.

Stephanie: Let’s just go.

Marcus: No. we’re staying. We aren’t going to let them treat us this way.

Stephanie: (nods) Ok.


The girls and boys enter together.

Marcus: Oh gosh, here they come.

Stephanie: Wait for it, wait for it…

Kelly: (almost on queue) Ew it smells.

The girls giggle.

Vincent: It’s obviously them.  

 Bobby: (looks uncomfortable) Um…the research paper?

Megan: Shut up Bobby. You’re always defending them.

Bobby: I don’t I-

Brittany: You do.

Kelly:  Look. They don’t even speak.

Stephanie and Marcus continue reading their books as if deaf.

Vincent: (snickers) Forget these losers.


Kelly is attempting to force Stephanie to kiss a piece of gum that is stuck to the table. Brittany and Megan hold Stephanie’s hands down despite her efforts. Vincent and Rick hold Marcus so he cant get to her.

Kelly: Kiss it! Kiss it!

Bobby enters half running.

Bobby: What are you doing?!

Vincent: Stay out of it.

Bobby: No. Let go of her. Now.

Rick: What’s gotten into you?

Bobby: Let go of her. NOW!

The girls release Stephanie and the guys release Marcus.

Bobby: I’m tired of you. All of you. Constantly picking on people. You guys are bullies. I want no part in this. And if that makes me uncool; so what? I’m making new friends. Better friends.

Marcus: Thanks a lot (smiles).

Stephanie: Yeah thanks (smiles).

The three exit, leaving the boys and girls dumfound and looking at one another.